If you asked me during sixth form what I wanted to do with my life, I honestly wouldn’t have had an answer.

I was in Year 13, just going with the flow. I didn’t have a clear plan, no real sense of direction, just doing what felt right in the moment. When UCAS applications came around, I picked chemistry. It was my favourite subject, and I thought, why not? I enjoy it now, and I will probably enjoy it at university too.

But things didn’t turn out the way I expected.

The Moment I Knew

On my very first day at university, I had a gut feeling that something wasn’t right.

Deep down, I just knew that this was not for me.

University life itself was not the problem. I met amazing people, joined great societies, and made memories I will always be grateful for. But academically, I felt completely disconnected. Every lecture I attended felt like a chore. I was not excited, I was not curious, I was just there.

That feeling stayed with me.

And over time, it got heavier.

I started to dread lectures. I had no sense of direction, no motivation, and no idea what I actually wanted to do instead.

The Comparison Trap

Many of my sixth form friends had secured degree apprenticeships at top companies. They were gaining real experience, earning money, building their careers, and I was sitting in lecture halls, feeling like I was wasting my time.

I could not help but compare myself.

It genuinely felt like I was falling behind in life.

Pressure and Responsibility

Growing up in a low income household, coming from a minority South Asian background, and being the eldest child meant that there was always a sense of responsibility over my shoulders.

I wanted to provide for my family. I wanted to make them proud.

Even though I had a part time job alongside university, I still felt like I was not doing enough. And more importantly, I was not happy with myself.

The Turning Point

One day, one of my closest friends noticed what I was going through.

He could tell I was unhappy.

He asked me, “Kayes, why don’t you apply and just give it a go?”

I remember laughing it off and saying, “It is too late for me.”

But he looked at me and said something I will never forget, “It is never too late.”

That moment stuck with me.

And it pushed me to take a chance on myself.

Taking That First Step

I started applying for degree apprenticeships.

At first, it felt overwhelming. Applications, online assessments, interviews - it felt like a completely different world. There were rejections, long nights, and moments where I doubted myself again.

But I kept going.

I put in the effort. I reached out to people for advice. I kept improving with every application.

And eventually, after all the setbacks and persistence, I secured a degree apprenticeship at one of my dream companies.

The Real Challenge: Self Doubt

Looking back, the biggest challenge was not the process itself.

It was my mindset.

I constantly told myself I was not good enough. I thought someone better would get it. I felt like there was no point trying.

But I realised that all of that was just noise.

None of it was real unless I chose to believe it.

What actually made the difference was showing up every day, putting in consistent effort, asking for help when I needed it, and giving it my best shot.

You do not have to be the smartest or the most talented, you just have to keep going.

Facing My Family

One of the hardest parts of my journey was telling my parents that I wanted to leave university.

In many minority households, degree apprenticeships are not fully understood. They are often seen as a backup option, something for people who did not do well academically.

So naturally, I faced a lot of backlash.

It was not easy. There were tough conversations, disagreements, and moments where I questioned whether I was making the right decision.

But over time, things changed.

Once I explained what I would be doing, the experience I would gain, and the opportunities ahead, they slowly began to understand.

And when they saw how much happier I was, it made all the difference.

So if you are worried about what your family or others might say, I will be honest, it is not easy. But sometimes, you have to trust yourself and take that step anyway.

Starting My Apprenticeship

Starting my apprenticeship was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

In such a short space of time, I have had the opportunity to work on both technical and non-technical projects. I have even had the chance to lead large projects, which is something I had never imagined I would be doing so early on.

Kayes MD Abdul

Business Analyst Degree Apprentice @ Amazon | Private Tutor

You can find out more and connect with Kayes on LinkedIn.